June 27, 2010

Sometime you just have to know when to shut up

"Would you remarry?"

Husband and wife are lying quietly in bed reading when the wife looks over at him and asks the question.

WIFE: What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?

HUSBAND: Definitely not!

WIFE: Why not? Don't you like being married?

HUSBAND: Of course I do.

WIFE: Then why wouldn't you remarry?

HUSBAND: Okay, okay, I'd get married again.

WIFE: You would? (with a hurt look)

HUSBAND: (makes audible groan)

WIFE: Would you live in our house?

HUSBAND: Sure. It's a great house.

WIFE: Would you sleep with her in our bed?

HUSBAND: Where else would we sleep?

WIFE: Would you let her drive my car?

HUSBAND: Probably. It is almost new.

WIFE: Would you replace my pictures with hers?

HUSBAND: That would seem like the proper thing to do.

WIFE: Would you give her my jewelry?

HUSBAND: No. I'm sure she'd want her own.

WIFE: Would you take her golfing with you?

HUSBAND: Yes. Those are always good times.

WIFE: Would she use my clubs?

HUSBAND: No. She's left-handed.

WIFE: - silence -

HUSBAND: . . . Shit.